I can think of nothing worse than a moping, spotty, foul tempered, smelly, sexually frustrated, undriven, skint and often drunken teenager as an example of humanity. I really can't. Even cannibals, sex offenders and politicians have some kind of drive and use.
But a teenager with no job, no money and no prospects is a sad sight.
In the UK we have teenage unemployment at a near all time high, almost 20% of the age group 16-24 a number that has been steadily rising since 2002 and is still climbing.
Thats a lot of smelly feet, a lot of untapped energy. In short thats a lot of Masterbating Teenagers.
It also attributes to a lot of crime, including drug taking, mugging , anti-sociable behaviour, sex offences and even more masterbation.
So, what can we do with them?
The Labour government decided to try and make them all stay in higher education, withdrawing most of their benefits if they couldn't find employment. With the education system at breaking point and the low level of education kids get today, (Yes, i'll say it. Between Offsted sticking it's nose in, SATS and letting kids get away with murder in schools the expectation of what can and what should be taught has changed massively in the last 20 years. Bring back the cane, fuck it, it's the 21st century, give Teachers Tazer's, that'll make the little fuckers attentive when they get back up off the floor,) there arent many prospects for the "Young, Dumb and full of Cum" generations.
So, what do other countries do?
Austria, the Russians, Chinks, Mexicans, Norwegians, Greeks, Israeli's and even the Germans, (Dont mention the war, but to give them their due they're pretty good at getting people marching in a straight line) still have National Service in one form or another.
As far as I know none of these countries has serious anti-social problems with their young.
Nor in Sweden, South Korea or even Turkey that also still has compulsory Military Service.
The Conservative government is going to be rolling out a new scheme, National Citizen Service.
A scheme aimed at school-leavers and i'm guessing under achievers that have nothing to do with their time.
A few sound bites from David Cameron.
''I want to see a programme which engages young people and gives them a sense of purpose, optimism and belonging. Something like National Service.
''Not military, not compulsory but universal and in the same spirit.
''A residential programme, so young people have time to live together, work together, play together. Time for them to get to know each other.
''And, most of all, time for them to develop as a person.
''It's going to mix young people from different backgrounds, different ethnicities and religions, in a way that doesn't happen right now. It's going to teach them what it means to be socially responsible by asking them to serve their communities.
''Above all it's going to help a generation of young people to appreciate what they can achieve. For themselves and by themselves. Gandhi put it beautifully, as he did so often: 'the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others'.''
He will add: ''We must all come together to do more about the national scandal of all this wasted promise. We owe it to the next generations.
''Our ambition is that over time, every 16-year-old will take part. This is about sowing the seeds of the Big Society - and seeing them thrive in the years to come.''
Does sound good doesn't it? Does it? I have to be honest, i'm not entirely sold, sounds like a big holiday sponsered by the tax payers to me, even more money being taken from the coffers to sponsor kids I dont have to do fuck all for a while. Saying that, they do say a change is as good as a rest, so it seems our young unemployed are going to go for a "rest" somewhere else. Fucking great.
I find that teenagers in a group become even more annoying, even more full of their self importance, sadly even smellier. Look at the outdoor music festivals. Groups of youngsters thrown together and in the end just do what they do at home, drink, take drugs, listen to music, avoid washing and fuck each other like Minks, aiding with the highest teenage pregnancy problem in Europe.
So, if you ask me, bring back proper National Service, even if it just teaches them some pride, something this country has long lacked, because in my view if this new initiative takes off were going to be paying through our taxes for more than a nice holiday for the young unemployed. If nothing else it'll teach the smelly fuckers how to keep themselves clean.
