I was recently told by a local P.C.S.O. that he saw me speeding. Tracking me down after some major investigation mainly asking my next door neighbour if she owned a red VW Golf Gti and after watching me drive 70 metres from where he spotted me driving into a cul-de-sac he knocked on my door.
No cameras were produced and his evidence that I was speeding was that I overcut a corner to drive into where I live, a corner that is usually littered with cars parked on pavements and where usually I have to do some creative driving to avoid anyone leaving their residences.
Repeatedly I pointed out that I wasn't speeding.
Repeatedly, without proof he told me that I was and that he could have me arrested for calling him a few choice words.
Eventually he fucked off as it was obvious that he was getting nowhere and this was down to the fact he had the intelligence of a Mudskipper and the looks of a Stork. Well , maybe if I hadn't have laughed at the way he looked as much I wouldnt have got a letter through the post 4 days later in the form of a formal warning about my driving.
For driving I guess.
Apparently if I get another one of these in the next 12 months they can seize my car. Good luck with that.
But heres the thing.
Had a read up about the requirements for his job. Can you spot anything lacking here?
- There are no minimum or maximum height requirements
- There is no formal educational requirement
- The minimum joining age is 18 and all police staff must retire at 65
- We maintain a strict tattoo policy. Each tattoo is judged individually and you must provide photographs with your application
- If you have a current Individual Voluntary Agreement (IVA) or current County Court Judgment (CCJ) then you cannot apply. If you have previously been declared bankrupt, then you would need to have this discharged for a minimum of 3 years prior to applying to us.
- We are committed to making what reasonable adjustments are possible, to enable people with disabilities, including dyslexia, to be an effective member of Essex Police. We need to be aware of any disabilities to ensure we can make any adjustments you may require during the recruitment process. We have an active Disability Support Network incorporating a Dyslexia Liaison Group which works hard to support all officers and staff with disabilities or caring commitments.
However, the fact the you cant read, write, have limbs missing, cant see, hear or speak shouldn't hold you back.
I'm all for people moving their way up in society, but i'm going out on a limb here, (my own limb) and may I suggest that some of the kids you used to give the occasional kick-in at school might just have moved into one of these jobs and are now seeking revenge for the fact that they used to get beaten up because they were deaf, blind, dumb, could play pinball well or were just twats.
I'm all for every village having to have an idiot, however, I draw the line when you give them any power beyond their understanding.
